Runneeng with an EE

Pretty crazy, huh?

So, anyway, in this post I'd like to talk about running/jogging/streaking etc... well, all except the streaking (you'll have to wait until next week for that). So, most every night, I go jogging with my dog, JoJo (remember?). I run around 2 miles, usually, through my neighborhood. I'd like to talk about my experiences and maybe get someone interested in starting to run/jog/streak. It's a great excercise, especially if you're fat...I mean, you're not fat, you've just got big bones, you know? So, yeah, you're not fat at all, 350 lbs of pure muscly fat. OK, just kidding, neither of the two of you are fat, it's you guys' moms who really are. You should get them started on it. Also, tell them to lay off on the meth. It makes their breath reek.

Something anybody who is intent on running with their dog needs to remember is this: make sure that it can run. Don't run around with your miniature Chihuahua or whatever lap dog you happen to have. You'll strangle it with its collar when it falls behind, and eventually Fluffles will be dead. Trust me, I know from experience-I mean..... Anyway, also, bring along a poo bag.

a poop bag(s)

Unless you are a real jerky pants, you don't really like to leave your neighbors a nice hot dog turd to find the next morning.So, get some poop bags. Go to, you guessed it, http://dogpoopbags.com/ for more information about dog poop bags.

With the weather getting cooler, many people stop their running routine because they get to cold. I have a solution: wear only a pair of whitey tighties and your running shoes. You'll get so cold, you won't even be able to feel the cold (or the hypothermia). Or, I guess you could be a big spender you could buy high-tech running gear that keeps you warm. I guess it's your choice: you could choose the no cost option, but with the possible side effects of death or incarceration, or, there's the $30-$40 dollar advanced gear. Choose whichever you want, I guess. Plus, if you're running so slow that you can't stay warm in your whitey tighties, than speed it up, Jack.

So, in conclusion, I think that everyone and their mothers (especially their mothers) should try running somewhere at some point in their lives. It gets you there much slower than if you drive, and you're all sweaty! Isn't that great? OK, so maybe it isn't so great after all. In fact, I think that I'll never run anywhere ever again. I probably should just stay home on the couch, wasting away into fat oblivion. Yeah, that's what I'll do. It sure is a good thing I thought to write this, else I'd never have thought to become a complete slob and never leave my basement! Lucky me!!

P.S. Never run in the woods. There are numerous dangers such as: bears, snakes, pervs, alligator, bats, squirrels, your own mind, and pools of ice cold water meticulously set up by a Norwegian TV station designed solely to make you look like an idiot on TV.