Weird Thing at the Library

This mentions a library.

So, yesterday I was at the library and went over to the computers that they have at the library because it's a library and I was at the library because my sister was getting books at the library and...anyway when I clicked on the Google Search bar and typed in "Driver San Francisco" (a video game that I had wanted to, and since have, bought) but before I even got to the "v" in "Driver," this came up on the auto complete thing: "Drinks that make you fart"

What?? What the *ahem* eff is this? Who searches for "drinks that make you fart"? Why would anyone possibly need that information? Were they planning on going to some fart party and they needed to load up on some ammo? I thought everone knew that beans, beans, the magical fruit could help you out in that department. Or maybe he/she was going on a date and he/she needed to know what not to order, because they've had bad experiences at restaurants before. Boy, I know I have. There was this one time when I was in this really quiet, nice restaurant with my grandparents and I just let a huge one....uh, I mean, there's some weird people at the library, huh?

Naturally, I clicked search, ignoring the strange looks from the two people adjacent to me. Hey, I wasn't the origional fart-drink searcher. I clicked on the first result, and found it very strange. Go ahead and read it if you must, but here is a tasteful excerpt:

"There are a couple sources of fart gas, the largest source is actually swallowed air, and another is the bacterium in your intestines that help you digest your food.  Depending on what food you eat these bacteria will produce various levels of various gases.  What you eat could increase the amount of gas you expel, but for the most part what you eat will determine if your farts are smelly or not.  If you want to fart a lot try swallowing a lot of air and then waiting for a while."

First off, fart gas????!!!!! That is a term that I'll try to work into my everyday vernacular for sure. I hope I used that word correctly, but probably not. Where was that term coined. How could however thought up that phrase not realized that anyone who hears the words "fart gas" will instanly crack up in laughter?

Fart gas. Cool, huh?

Secondly, swallowing air????!!!!! (I know, I like to use italics and question marks and exclamation points, it's just who I am?????!!!!!). Is that something that we don't normally do? I don't know, it's just a weird thing I guess. Anyway, thats all for my blog post, and this is officially the last blog post that I'll ever do in term one of ninth grade for FFJH Honor English. I know that to be absolutely true. By the way, has anyone ever notice that the word assassin has not only one, but two swear words, and????!!!!! the word "sin"?